Epic Fail of a Morning

Operation "Cupcake"
resulted in burnt bottoms!!  :(

Ever have one of those days where nothing goes right, even the things you can usually control blindfolded?

This morning was like that for me.  I was in the kitchen all morning and every recipe I tried didn't turn out (or was not presentable), my hair was disheveled and spit-up all over my t-shirt and was in my pjs until lunchtime (which I personally can't stand), and I began to wonder about my own sanity and confidence.

But I thank God for days like today.  It reminds me of reality.  That things don't always go the way we want or how we want it but that it doesn't change our worth.

While the efficiency expert in me feels that this morning was wasted (I don't have a Martha Stewart-like dessert picture to show off today!), the mom in me realizes that I had a blast with my son cooking together in the kitchen.  And while I felt like everything was out of my hands and my son was learning nothing, maybe 30 years from now he will remember today and the sense that when things don't work out it is ok.  That we can learn from our mistakes.  That failure does not define us, a there is more to life than our task at hand.

As I write this one-handed with a sleeping baby girl occupying the other, I remember and I am grateful.

Grateful, because days like today remind me of my son, Sebastian, who I lost.  And I am grateful for him because he is the reason I can take a step back and appreciate today.  And I am thankful for today because it teaches me to love more and worry less about the things that don't really matter in the end.

Like burnt bottom cupcakes! ;)